New York, Ireland, France…Oh my!! All the FABULOUS things coming in the near future. But first, some updates on how my life has been lately…
WRITING PRIVATELY / DEALING WITH ROUGH TIMES: So I have been really bad about keeping up with blogs since coming back to Ohio. It’s been a strange time for me the past couple of months, specifically the last month, so I have just been taking time for myself to regroup and try to find more clarity in my life. I have turned from blogging to journaling in private. Writing nearly everyday is therapeutic. Writing in a safe, private space. There are just certain things I don’t feel like putting on the internet.
…and I just want to put this as a side note: another reason I have taken a step back is due to increased overwhelming emotions and anxiety. I needed sometime to myself. Also, if you are struggling, no matter how big or small you think your problems may be, don’t be scared to reach out to a counseling center for therapy. I have and there is no shame behind it. I’ve also learned there is no shame in feeling emotions, we all have bad days and hard times, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed of or anything we should feel like we need to hide. It’s just all about learning the healthy ways to work with your emotions.
I’M NOT GOOD WITH MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS: My life has consisted of mainly college and working part time jobs since coming home, and because of that I’ve done a poor job at maintaining any sort of actual social life. I’m so conflicted between being an introvert and wanting me time, but still finding some sort of balance to actually have friends. I am normally the kind of person that just does socializing within the activities I’m doing, but without color guard in my life, well… life has been pretty lonely. But with that being said, I have been making a much larger effort over the last month to socialize and reach out, and I am continuing to do so. (I’ve had a fairly mundane life since being home, but I’ve got some things I’m already thinking of doing/getting involved with next semester to hopefully fix this).
RELATIONSHIP… OR LACK THERE OF: Another hard aspect of life lately, which I really haven’t told many people about at all, is that I am no longer in a relationship. No hard feelings, but sometimes you just have to face the fact that things aren’t working, that two individuals would be happier just being two individuals than being together. Personalities don’t always mix well and there comes a time when you have to decide if it’s worth holding onto. Out of respect for the two of us, details will not be discussed, but it was not due to a lack of love and there was also no drama. Just a separation of paths.
So with that being said, a short summary of some of the main things that I have been dealing with, on to some HAPPIER NEWS:
After only a couple more weeks of college, holiday break will be here. I will be heading off with my family to spend 1.5 weeks in New York (which I don’t think I could be any more excited for!!!), and then I’m heading off to Europe for three weeks. I will be in Dublin, a city I consider home, for most of the time, but will also be going to France for a little under a week to spend it with one of my good friends (Eeeeek so EXCITED)!!
I cannot even being to explain how humbled, fortunate, and grateful I feel to have opportunities like these. I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky, but one thing I know for sure is that I won’t waste a single second of it!!
PS: I want to try and document my time through photos, writing, and video over the holiday break, but I also want to make sure that doesn’t take me away from living in the moment. I will try and find the balance. I will just take it as it comes and do what feels natural. SO, if you are interested in my life (which I’m assuming you are to at least some extent, otherwise I’m not quite sure why you have gotten this far in the blog post) then look out for more stories about my adventures over the next month or so ❤